In November 2012, I mailed a letter to all of you that started: “After much reflection, soul-searching, and counseling, Cara and I have decided that it will be best for our family to live in separate homes. This decision has been tremendously difficult and has left both of us with a deep sense of sadness.”
What followed was a challenging period of dealing with loss and uncertainty and re-imagining life. It was taxing for us as parents, for our kids, Daniel and Noah, and for those in our circle of support who loved both Cara and me. Yet it was also a time during which we never let go of treating each other with respect, of affirming our dedication to being the best co-parents we could be, and of finding ways that would allow us be kind to one other despite the hurt we experienced.
Five years later, after another round of reflection and soul-searching, after much laughter and listening, and after realizing we are still best friends, Cara and I have decided to move back in together. As of the end of August, our family is reunited in our home in Bow, joined now by Ollie, the dog.
Cara has been busy with grad school this past year juggling her studies with her full-time work as a palliative care nurse. She remains on track to earning a degree as a nurse practitioner by December 2018. She also continues to be the one to shuttle our kids on Sunday mornings to their various soccer and other sport events – despite our best intentions to come to church as a family.
As this summer comes to a close, my heart is filled with gladness and a deep sense of gratitude. Thank you for the way you, as individuals and as a congregation, journeyed with us during our most difficult times. Thank you for giving us space when we needed space. Thank you for offering your love and care throughout. And thank you for maintaining your trust in me as your minister, an imperfect, struggling and muddling, yet hopeful human being.
With love and much anticipation as we start our eighth year together,