by Jeanne Ann Whittington

We all need kindness. If we are to live well, it’s not optional. As babies, children and throughout our lives, we need to be held in loving relationship to thrive. And from this foundation of having received kindness and care, we need to be able to offer kindness to others, especially to people we disagree with. Most of all, we need to hold ourselves with kindness—consistently and unequivocally. We may wonder: Isn’t it naive and ineffective to choose to cultivate kindness in the current world we live in? But consider another question: What kind of world do you want to live your “one wild and precious life” in? Overwhelmingly, the “world” we live in is defined by our predominant mind states. When I’m feeling irritated or fearful, judgmental of myself or others, the world I see is a reflection of my mind state. Everything I see is filtered by my mind—who wouldn’t feel angry or frightened or hopeless, surveying such a rotten scene?

When we choose to view the world with kindness, we take our wisdom and discernment with us. We still recognize destructive, selfish and confused behavior for what it is, in ourselves or others. But through the lens of kindness and compassion, we see “bad actors” in the world as just like ourselves: conditioned by a lifetime of influences and experiences, often caught in aggressive, confused and self-destructive views and opinions, not understanding that these very stances will never lead to the contentment and safety we long for.

The world will always remain full of pain and suffering, but choosing kindness allows us to live with eyes and heart open. Choosing kindness allows us to see clearly, to choose when and how to act skillfully, and to contribute our share of essential nourishment and sanity to the world.