Why is my heart here? Easy. Village. Since joining the UU I have repeated this word countless times: my mantra, my purpose, my prayer. It’s the people who keep me tethered. These caring relationships, the love shared between us, the welcoming of strangers are where I find the sacred.

Before the UU, I felt out of place in the world, lonely and unsure where I fit in. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I knew I wanted more for my children and for myself. I first entered the UU in search of community, but stayed because it became my family. This sense of family has really shown up for me. When I had a difficult pregnancy, a circle of women from the church visited me in my home for a day of nurturing me as a mother, as opposed to the baby. When I am absent for a while, people notice and reach out, reminding me of my belonging. When I am overwhelmed, someone offers a helping hand, a moment of watching the children, or just good company. I’ve built friendships while washing dishes in the church kitchen, gained perspective listening to stories from elders, and even found chosen family who have become my youngest child’s godparents.

This community doesn’t just talk compassion; it practices it in ways that generate lasting bonds. This village also shapes my family. Each week, my infant is passed lovingly from one set of arms to another, giving me a bit of freedom to socialize and reset. My children see their regular and consistent friend group through the kids’ programs. My seven-year-old daughter walks hand in hand with elders, deep in conversation about mythology, ecology, or history, soaking up their wisdom. My husband, initially reluctant to join a church, now signs us up for more than our schedule can accommodate and lists off the men at church who have inspired him to be a better man himself. My five year-old son insists on setting tables with Chris, an adult congregant who has quietly become one of his heroes. Chris never treats him like a child underfoot; rather, he treats him like a helper and a friend. In a world where raising boys often feels daunting, I am profoundly grateful for this example.

Between all of us, we are at the church 4-6 days a week! It is our second home, where we love to be. In our congregation, my children learn through watching how to serve with kindness, how to listen, and how to show up for others. My husband and I are also taught by example the same grace and generosity we wish to instill in our children. That is what a village should be about. My heart is here because this is what the world needs more of: elders who provide loving guidance, peers who nurture together, and a village where every person, young or old, knows they belong.

~ Bianca Rivera-Berry